LO4: Draft 1

First Draft

The city that was once famous for its amber glow that shrouded the skyline and clouds that reigned over the sky, giving Sheffield its reputation as the steel city of England. This once industrial city is now fast becoming the UK hub for all things that scream outdoors. Once the steel industry elapsed we were left with vast spaces of greenery that the mountain biking has thrived off. Upon observation Sheffield does not appear to be a place where the adrenalin pumping sport occurs but what racer could resist the seven hills?

Not only is Sheffield the place for biking it is also one of the top destinations for walks and runs. People often say that Yorkshire births the best athletes and sporting personalities alike. From the likes of three time world champion Jessica Ennis to national, European and world downhill champion Steve Peat.

More specifically, Sheffield is fast becoming known as the hub for all things mountain biking both for business and riders alike. In recent years a whole host of business are basing themselves out of Sheffield including Cotic Bikes, Airdrop Bikes and Planet X This combined with Sheffield’s ideal location being perched on the doorstep on the Peak District region, results in many local riders and those from a further field coming to experience the unique terrain.

So what makes Sheffield so special?

The city offers various riding locations which allow a range of riders to access. Whether you're a university student or a full time worker. There is a track from you. Sheffield’s tracks appeal to all levels of riders. If you are a beginner,the tracks on Genocide woods allow you to ease your way into the sport but if you’re looking for something more thrilling than Wharncliffe is the place to go. These woods offer challenge with their steep and bumpy tracks pushing you into difficult but promising race.

Not only is Sheffield geographically perfect for downhill racing, the acknowledgements that have followed with the popularity are the numerous clubs for young ones. Ite scene is booming and locals are

Upon observation Sheffield does not appear to be a place where the adrenalin pumping sport occurs with its calming atmosphere  but what racer could resist the seven hills?

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From proof reading this draft it is evident that the article requires a large amount of development. Throughout there is a variety of spelling and gramatical errors, in addition to this i feel that the pargraphs and structure could be more devloped. To do so i will add the interview with world champion Steve Peat as this would add great interest to the piece whilst also aiding the structure as it would seperate out the piece and make it easier for the reader to understand/ interperate.

LO3: Research

Sources Table and Justification

Evidence of gaining Primary Research:

Response from Steve Peat

LO4: Regulation

LO4: Regulation

The regulatory body IPSO defines a large set of codes by which the editors of journalistic pieces have to follow to ensure it is safe/ suitable for public release. As seen on IPSO's website the codes given a large range of aspects in the print and news industry. Most noticeably, it is seen to be that the codes were put in place to provide a standard for all reporting across the newspaper and magazine industry, as a result the article I have written would have to follow these codes and conventions as a result of it planning to be released in national magazines whilst also being available online.

From my article, it can be inferred that it is in breach of little codes set by the independent press standards organisation. This is largely as a result of the nature and genre of the article, the journalistic piece I have written is perceived to fit into the genre of sporting and local news reportage. Subsequently, the article would not hinder the majority of the codes. For example the codes state that a press organisation must: not intrude into grief or shock, avoid excessive detail on suicide or death, care in reportage of children and children in sex cases, care in reporting of crime, no use of subterfuge, consider victims of sexual assault, not pay for witness in criminal proceedings neither should they pay criminal information and finally must not disclose confidential sources which they may have obtained.

However, it is also perceived that my article would have to consider certain aspects of the editor’s code of practice, most importantly the public interest. The code of public interest can be further sub defined into various parts. The main aspects of this code which is relevant to my article is the 'protecting public health and safety', I think this because within the body copy of the article and possible imagery to be used in the piece it could be perceived to glamourise the sport which in turn would result in the audience wanting to partake in such events. However, with this comes risks to health and safety, for example the sport of the downhill mountain biking is classed as an extreme sport which can often result in injury due to the environment and ethos behind the sport. Therefore, if new comers were to attempt to recreate such moves portrayed in the article it could result in serious injury both to themselves and to those who surround them. In an attempt to minimise this risk I have made mention to there being a variety of tracks available no matter what skill set they may be at in an attempt to show progression is needed whilst still portraying the sport and Sheffield as a location to be attractive.

Another regulation set by IPSO, which would relate to the article would be the accuracy of reporting. The IPSO states that ' The Press must take care not to publish inaccurate, misleading or distorted information or images, including headlines not supported by the text.' Within my article all, the information used is validated, this is largely because of the primary and secondary research undertaken. More specifically, the direct qualitative questions proposed to Steve Peat allowed for direct accurate responses adding further validation to the accuracy and authenticity of the article. Similarly, the headline is also supported by the text both for literary purposes and to meet regulation. For example the phrase 'Seven Hills' which is seen in the headline is also prevalent throughout, this reiteration of the phrase adds emphasis to the point and results in it having a bigger more memorable impact on the audience.

In conclusion, it is seen that my article is in little breach of the codes of practice said by the independent press standards organisation and therefore would be suitable for publication in the magazine which it would be presented in.

LO4: Mode of address and structure

LO4: Mode of Address and Structure

Throughout the article a variety of linguistic devices and techniques have been used to emulate the desired tone of the piece to allow it to appeal to the target audience. Within the text itself the premise of the article refers to Sheffield’s successful past and now future, with this being further emphasised through the implementation of primary definers such as Jessica Ennis and Steve Peat.

As a whole the mode of address used in this piece is that of a peer to peer tone, this is justified as it allows for the reader to relate to the text and therefore be more engaged in the piece. This is achieved through the language seen in the text, for example terminology/ jargon relating to the sport of mountain biking is seen throughout as a result this conveys an informal tone to the reader whilst also allowing them to relate directly to the matter. For example the phrase “bumps and burms” is a term used amongst riders to describe certain aspects of tracks or trails. Therefore, the use of this validates the article and could possibly be seen to evoke a sense of empathy within the reader due to the common ground seen in the text and how it’s relevant to their lifestyles and hobbies.

The peer to peer mode of address and informalities are seen to be further emphasised by the use of restricted coding as theorized by linguist Basil Bernstein. Within the text of the article it uses limited vocabulary with little formality and elaborate traits. This style of language was chosen as the linguistic predictability and shared knowledge/ experiences of the reader in addition to the external context such as the primary definer allow for text to be easily interoperated and understood by the reader. The informal tone is also seen to better suit the genre of the article. The paragraphing and sentence structure was also used in mind with creating a piece that flowed and was easy to interpret.

Throughout the article the piece is separated into easily defined, short paragraphs. Subsequently, this makes the overall article look more visually appealing (similar to that of the imagery used to support and break up the text) and result in the reader being more engaged. The reader would also be engaged due to the use of varied sentence length and structure. Throughout the piece a mix of simple, compound and complex sentences have been used. Most commonly, simple sentences were used for effect to add emphasis to a point when exclaimed, whereas the compound to complex sentences were often used to define information or list key points. Specific linguistic devices were also used for effect through this piece. For example rhetoricals are used to directly involve the reader within the text as seen in the line “So what makes Sheffield so special?” which combines an informal question seemingly proposed to the reader with the use of repetition, the noun “Sheffield” is reiterated throughout the piece further adding emphasis to it whilst also relating back to the premise of how Sheffield has a large impact not only on the region but world. Repetition is also deliberately used for effect in both the introducing and conclusive statements. The phrase “what racer could resist the seven hills?” is seen in both the introduction and conclusive sentence, this was done with the intention of creating a lasting image in the readers mind as the repetition adds clear emphasis to the phrase whilst the rhetorical directly involves the reader also. 

LO4: Draft 2 Sub - Editing

From the sub edit it is evident that within this piece the grammatical aspects of the text have to be improved in order to make it easier to understand by the audience and fit in line with the idea of restricted which is prevalent throughout the piece. In addition to this simple spelling errors also have to be edited. Subsequently, i plan to correct any spelling and grammatical errors in addition to adding additional emphasis to the quotes used and the use of professionals to support the text. 

Final Edit:

SECRET SEVEN HILLS

The city that was once famous for its amber glow that shrouded the skyline and clouds that reigned over the sky, giving Sheffield its reputation as the steel city of England. This once industrial city is now fast becoming the UK hub for all things that scream outdoors. Once the steel industry elapsed we were left with vast spaces of greenery that the mountain biking scene has thrived off. Upon first observations Sheffield does not appear to be a place where the adrenaline pumping sport occurs but what racer could resist the temptations of the seven hills.

Not only is Sheffield the place for biking it is also one of the top destinations for you whether it being walking, running or climbing. Sheffield has something for you! People often say that Yorkshire births the best athletes and sporting personalities alike. From the likes of three-time world champion Jessica Ennis to national, European and world downhill champion Steve Peat.

More specifically, Sheffield is fast becoming known as the hub for all things mountain biking for both business and riders alike. In recent years a whole host of business are basing themselves out of Sheffield including Cotic Bikes, Airdrop Bikes and Planet X This combined with Sheffield’s ideal location being perched on the doorstep on the Peak District region, results in many local riders and those from a further afield coming to experience the unique terrain.

Riders of all ages tame the trails at Peaty's Steel City Downhill Race.

So what makes Sheffield so special?

The city offers various riding locations, which allow a range of riders to access. Whether you are a university student or a full time worker. There is a track from you. Sheffield’s tracks appeal to all levels of riders. If you are a beginner, the tracks on Grenocide woods allow you to ease your way into the bumps and burms of the sport but if you are looking for something more thrilling then Wharncliffe is the place to go. These woods offer challenge with their steep and technical tracks pushing you into difficult but promising race, with racing legend Steve Peat at the for front of the development of these trails and ambition to “have fun and help others to achieve their goals” now retired.

Not only is Sheffield geographically perfect for downhill racing, the acknowledgements that have followed with the popularity are the numerous clubs for young ones. From the wealth of sporting clubs available to students in all walks of life, through to the clubs for veterans of the MTB scene and pros alike. The scene is booming and locals love it.

Local rider Kyle Brooks tearing up the tracks

We spoke to Steve about his experience with downhill biking...

How did you get started in racing?

“Joined a local MTB group and entered one for their XC races at Rother valley. I was 17/18 so quite late starter.”

Is there a specific preparation routine before you race?

“Yes, the same one I have used for the last 20+years, Warm ups and routines really help being prepared for a race.”

 Of all the tracks and trails you have ridden in your career which would you say is your favourite and why?

“I have fun in most places I ride so it is hard to pick one, if you are with the right people anywhere is good, some of my best times have been with mates on my local trails Sheffield.”

What do you enjoy most about the downhill scene?

“Riding great tracks, going fast and the people.”

Upon observation Sheffield does not appear to be a place where the adrenalin pumping sport occurs with its calming atmosphere but what racer could resist the seven hills?

LO4: Draft 2

SECRET SEVEN HILLS

The city that was once famous for its amber glow that shrouded the skyline and clouds that reigned over the sky, giving Sheffield its reputation as the steel city of England. This once industrial city is now fast becoming the UK hub for all things that scream outdoors. Once the steel industry elapsed we were left with vast spaces of greenery that the mountain biking has thrived off. Upon observation Sheffield does not appear to be a place where the adrenalin pumping sport occurs but what racer could resist the seven hills.

Not only is Sheffield the place for biking it is also one of the top destinations for walks and runs. People often say that Yorkshire births the best athletes and sporting personalities alike. From the likes of three-time world champion Jessica Ennis to national, European and world downhill champion Steve Peat.

More specifically, Sheffield is fast becoming known as the hub for all things mountain biking for both business and riders alike. In recent years a whole host of business are basing themselves out of Sheffield including Cotic Bikes, Airdrop Bikes and Planet X This combined with Sheffield’s ideal location being perched on the doorstep on the Peak District region, results in many local riders and those from a further field coming to experience the unique terrain.

So what makes Sheffield so special?

The city offers various riding locations, which allow a range of riders to access. Whether you are a university student or a full time worker. There is a track from you. Sheffield’s tracks appeal to all levels of riders. If you are a beginner, the tracks on Genocide woods allow you to ease your way into the sport but if you are looking for something more thrilling than Wharncliffe is the place to go. These woods offer challenge with their steep and bumpy tracks pushing you into difficult but promising race.

Not only is Sheffield geographically perfect for downhill racing, the acknowledgements that have followed with the popularity are the numerous clubs for young ones. The scene is booming and locals love it.

We spoke to Steve about his experience with downhill biking.

How did you get started in racing?

Joined a local MTB group and entered one for their XC races at Rother valley. I was 17/18 so quite late starter

Is they a specific preparation routine before you race?

Yes, the same one i have used for the last 20+years, Warm ups and routines really help being prepared for a race.

 Of all the tracks and trails you have ridden in your career which would you say is your favourite and why?

I have fun in most places i ride so it is hard to pick one, if you are with the right people anywhere is good, some of my best times have been with mates on my local trails Sheffield.

Upon observation Sheffield does not appear to be a place where the adrenalin pumping sport occurs with its calming atmosphere but what racer could resist the seven hills?